


When History Repeats Itself

by Archer973



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 20:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1955676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archer973/pseuds/Archer973
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape knows something has changed in Draco, and he has a sneaking suspicion he knows what caused the change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When History Repeats Itself

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so this is mostly Draco and Snape talking, with flashbacks to Snape and Lily, but I may write another chapter with some Draco/Ginny action. Oh, and this is set right after Draco is hauled into Slughorn's party by Filch.

“I’ll escort him out,” Snape said, quickly cutting across whatever nonsense Slughorn was about to spout. He grasped Draco by the arm, ignoring both Filch’s angry noises of protest and the young man’s glare as he led Draco from the room, down the many stairways, and finally into his office.

“I’m not a bloody child, I don’t need to be led,” Draco snapped, jerking his arm out of the older man’s grasp and glowering at him.

“Sit,” Snape commanded, choosing to ignore the many cutting things he could have said in response. Draco glared at him for a second, then flopped down in the chair across from his Head of House, clearly sulking.

“You’ve been very foolish, Draco,” Snape said, leaning back and regarding the young man across from him. “Wandering about the castle after hours. It’s bound to raise questions, questions we cannot afford to have asked.”

To the untrained eye Draco looked just as cool and put together as he always did, but Snape knew better. His robes hung from his frame, indicating he had lost weight, when he hadn’t had any to lose to begin with. His skin, naturally pale, had a sickly sheen to it, as if he hadn’t seen proper daylight in months. There were bags under his eyes and the grey orbs themselves were filled with an almost manic light.

“Students do it all the time,” Draco retorted, noticing Snape’s assessment and scowling. “I don’t see what it matters if I do.”

“You are not an ordinary student,” Snape replied sharply, frowning at his flippant tone. “People are already suspicious of you. Any action of yours will be called into question.”

“Why? Because of my name? Because of who my bloody father is?” Draco asked, standing and turning away, but not before Snape saw the rage on his face.

“Because of who your father serves,” Snape said quietly, studying the young man before him intently.

“Well, I’m sick of being seen as only my father’s son,” Draco spat, whipping around, eyes blazing, shoulders tense with anger. “I thought these people were supposed to be all good and righteous. But they’re hypocrites, just like everyone else.”

“You’ve given them no reason to trust you,” Snape said, face blank, but inside he was surprised. This didn’t sound like the Draco he knew, the boy who was almost a carbon copy of his father. “If you wish to kill their suspicions, you must pretend you are one of them. You do what they do, say what they say. You totally immerse yourself in them until you feel like you’ll never be clean again. Only then will they accept you.”

“And what if I don’t want to lie to them?” Draco asked, lifting his chin defiantly. “What if I want to tell them the truth?”

“What brought this on, Draco?” Snape asked, no longer able to contain his curiosity. “What has happened that has made you so angry?”

“Nothing,” the blond said, but Snape saw the flicker of panic in his eyes.

“Draco, you can confide in me,” Snape said, his tone one that could almost be called gentle. “I swear to you, it will go no further than this room.”

“You’re a liar,” Draco said, a sneer marring his face. “You’re his spy, his rat. And now you’re trying to worm your way into my confidences, so you can find out what my plan is and steal all the glory. That’s all you want, power and glory.”

“I am not your father, Draco,” Snape said, his voice still soft. “Those are his goals you are thinking of, not mine. I swore to your mother I would protect you. I made an Unbreakable Vow. And I will make another with you that nothing you tell me will leave this room, if that is what it takes.”

Draco looked at his professor, grey eyes boring into him, trying to pull back his skin and read his soul. Snape looked steadily back, trying to project the fact that he meant Draco no harm, that he just wanted to help him and keep him safe.

“I can’t tell you,” Draco said, but this time his voice wasn’t angry, it was choked. He looked at Snape with pleading in his eyes, willing him to understand.

“Does it involve a person?” Snape asked, knowing exactly how Draco was feeling, as if the secret was too big in his throat and could not be spoken of. Mutely Draco nodded.

“A girl?”

“From another House?”

“Gryffindor?

Hesitate. Nod.

“Does she have red hair?”

“How the bloody hell did you know that?” Draco suddenly exploded, unable to keep his shock and confusion bottled up any longer.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Snape said, the corner of his mouth lifting ever so slightly. Draco scowled, then nodded.

“Is her last name Weasely?” Snape asked, trying to stop himself from smirking at his younger charge as the boy’s scowl got deeper and deeper.

“You know it is,” Draco muttered, glowering at his professor. “Now tell me how the bloody hell you knew. Even Blaise doesn’t know, and usually he knows this kind of shit about me before I do.”

“I’ve seen how you look at her,” Snape said, all teasing gone from his face. “During meals in the Hall. In the hallways. During Quidditch matches. If you spent half as much time looking for the snitch as you do watching Miss Weasely, we would undoubtedly win the Championship this year. I also saw you two in the library.”

“So, you’ve been stalking me,” Draco grumbled, staring at the corner of Snape’s desk, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks. “Congratulations, you’ve found out my big secret. Now run along and tell my mother what a disgrace I am.”

“I think there’s something you need to see, Draco,” Snape said, flicking his wand towards the cabinets in the back of the room. A lock clicked and a shallow stone basin flew towards them, landing squarely on the desk with a gentle thump.

“Why do you have a Pensieve?” Draco asked, obviously surprised that Snape would own such a valuable object.

“There are some things that are best hidden, especially from the Dark Lord,” Snape said, well aware of what a risk he was taking. If Draco decided to go to the Dark Lord and share with him what he was about to see, then Snape was finished. There was no chance that he would live through the Dark Lord’s rage.

Draco was silent as Snape stirred the silvery contents of the Pensieve with the tip of his wand, sifting through the memories stored there, looking for the correct ones. At last he was ready.

“After you,” he said, gesturing to Draco. The young man looked at him, clearly trying to puzzle him out, before obediently bending over and putting his face into the stone basin. Snape followed suit and they were both sucked into the memories.

_Two girls were playing by the stream. They looked like they were about eight years old. One had brown hair and the other red. A thin, sallow boy with a mess of black hair sat in a tree, hidden by the leaves, watching them. The redhead laughed, twirling with her arms held out at her sides, while the brunette scowled and continued to sort the rocks around her according to color._

_“Tuney, watch this!” the redhead called, kneeling by the water and holding her hands out. The water began to bubble. Little streams arched up before falling again, creating a beautiful fountain that glistened in the sunlight._

_“Stop it, Lily!” the brunette shrieked, glancing around hurriedly to make sure no one was watching before pushing her sister, shoving her onto the ground. “I told you, don’t do your freak thing when I’m around!”_

_“But I just wanted to –” Lily began to say before Petunia shoved her again, cutting her off._

_“I said no!” Petunia said, glaring at her sister, who was now cowering on the ground. “I hate you, Lily. You’re not my sister. You’re just a freak.”_

_Another memory. They were behind some building, probably a school. The two girls looked like they were about ten now. Lily hit the ground, whimpering as the pavement scraped her skin. Petunia smiled in glee. Lights still flickered in the air from where Lily had been playing with them._

_“Leave her alone!” the black-haired boy yelled, running around the corner of the building just as Petunia kicked Lily in the shin._

_“Oh, it’s you,” Petunia sneered, wrinkling her nose when she saw who it was. “Freak. Maybe you and Lily can get together and have freak babies and raise them in that hovel you call a house.”_

_“Leave Sev alone, Petunia!” Lily yelled, glaring up at her sister._

_“Ooo, looks like you’ve got a girlfriend, freak boy,” Petunia sneered. Severus blushed, leaning down to help Lily to her feet._

_“Just leave us alone,” he said, glaring at the brunette, hatred clear in his eyes._

_“Gladly,” she retorted before turning away and flouncing off._

_“Are you okay?” Severus asked, immediately turning to Lily and looking at her with concern._

_“I’m fine, Sev, don’t worry,” the redhead replied, smiling shakily at him. Severus did not look convinced._

_“Sit down and let me look at them,” he ordered. Lily obeyed meekly, sitting against the wall and letting Severus inspect her torn skin. He looked at the cuts closely, then put his hands on her legs and closed his eyes. A look of deep concentration came onto his face. At first nothing happened. Then, slowly, the cuts began to heal. Lily winced at the sting of the gravel being propelled from her skin, laying one hand on Severus’ shoulder for comfort. At last the skin was unbroken._

_“I wish I could do that,” Lily said, smiling at Severus as he rocked back on his heels, breathing heavily. Severus just shrugged._

_“You look after me so well, Sev,” Lily continued, leaning forward and hugging her friend. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”_

_“I’d be lost without you, Lily,” Severus whispered, so quiet that she didn’t even hear him._

_They were in the dungeons. Severus, now about fifteen, was leaning over a cauldron, stirring rapidly. The door burst open. Severus leapt to his feet, wand out. Lily stormed into the room, her red hair flying around her, green eyes sparkling dangerously._

_“So, you thought you’d just hide down here, did you?” Lily asked, glaring at Severus, arms crossed. “Just run away from me and try to hide the truth?”_

_“I just had to finish up an assignment,” Severus said, swallowing nervously. An irritated Lily was not something to be trifled with._

_“Bullshit,” Lily snapped, striding over and sniffing the cauldron. “That’s a Healing Draught, any idiot could see that. That was never an assignment.”_

_“It’s extra credit,” Severus said, trying to sound convincing. Lily rounded on him._

_“Stop lying to me, Sev! I saw the black eye, and the blood. I know what he did to you, what he’s always done to you. Why are you hiding from me?” Lily’s voice echoed in the dungeon, bouncing off the walls so that it seemed to be coming from all sides._

_“I’m not a weakling, Evans,” Severus said, his voice cold. “I can take care of myself. It’s not concern of yours.”_

_“No concern? Of course it’s my concern, you bloody prat! You’re my best friend and I care about you. I want to help you, just like you helped me when Petunia used to push me around,” Lily said, her voice turning soft. “Please, Sev, don’t hide from me. I couldn’t bear losing you.” Severus remained stiff and cold for a moment, then all the fight went out of him and he slumped. Lily was there immediately, taking him by the arm and sitting him down on the bench._

_“Off,” Lily said, plucking at his robes, her voice business-like. Severus blushed, then pulled his robes over his head, very grateful he had decided to wear Muggle pants under his robes that day. Lily gasped in horror when she saw his back. It was a mass of welts and cuts. Blood had dried on his skin, giving it a rusty look._

_Pulling herself together, Lily went over to the sink, wet a clean rag, and came back. She gently began to wash the blood off his back by hand. One hand rested on the side of Severus’ waist while the other softly rubbed the rag along his back. Severus stared up at the ceiling, trying to maintain his control._

_When all the blood was gone, Lily drew her wand and lightly traced it over the marks, murmuring under her breath. The wounds reknit themselves and the angry swelling eased. Severus sighed in relief. When he was healed, Lily stepped around in front of him and crouched so they were eye to eye._

_“Better?” she asked gently, studying his face with concern._

_“Loads,” Severus replied, smiling gently at her and tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Thanks, Lil.”_

_“You should report this,” she said, the concern not fading from her face. “Tell Slughorn, or Dumbledore, or someone. Then you’d never have to go back to him.”_

_“When I’m not there, he beats my mum,” Severus said quietly, looking down. “I’m afraid of what he’d do to her if I left.” Lily bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes._

_“You do so much for the ones you love,” she whispered, gently touching his cheek, forcing him to look at her. “That’s one of the things that make you a great man, Severus.”_

_“You do the same,” Severus said, clearly unsure of what to do. “You take care of your friends, and your family. You even take care of me.”_

_“That’s because I love you, Sev,” Lily said, smiling at the black-haired youth. Severus smiled back and hesitantly reached up a hand to touch Lily’s cheek. Lily pressed her face into his hand, cuddling into the touch. Severus licked his lips, looking at the redheaded Gryffindor with longing, but also fear. Lily smiled at him, taking his face in her hands. Their lips touched._

“I don’t think you need to see any more of this,” the adult Snape said, reaching out and grasping Draco’s arm before pulling them out of the memory. They landed back on the floor of Snape’s office. Draco stared at the Pensieve for a few more moments, his mouth hanging open.

“That was Potter’s mother, right?” he asked, still unable to fully process what he had seen.

“Yes, that was Lily Evans,” Snape said, his voice so full of sorrow that Draco ripped his eyes away from the Pensieve and looked at his professor. Grief was written plainly on the older man’s face, a sorrow so deep that Draco felt his throat close up slightly.

“You loved her,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, but Snape nodded anyways.

“What happened?” Draco asked, looking back that Pensieve. “I mean, it’s kind of obvious that she loved you too. Why did she end up with Potter?”

“I betrayed her,” Snape said, his voice thick. Draco looked up and saw a single tear slip out of the normally controlled Potion Master’s eye. “There was a group of Slytherins who even in school supported the Dark Lord. They came to me and offered me a chance to prove myself, to prove that I wasn’t just the son of a Muggle drunkard. I wanted the power. I wanted the people who tormented me to fear me. I chose them over her. She never forgave me. She died thinking that I was the Dark Lord’s loyal servant, that I had never loved her. She died hating me.”

“So you see,” Snape continued, looking Draco in the eye again. “I know what it’s like to care about someone, even when everything you are should hate everything she is. I know what it’s like to sit at the Slytherin table and watch her across the hall, mesmerized by the way she laughs and talks and breathes. She was the most precious thing in the world to me, Draco, and I betrayed her for a set of ideals I didn’t even believe in. I made the wrong choice. And I have regretted it every day of my life since.”

“I don’t want to do this,” Draco suddenly said, his voice broken and full of unshed tears. “I don’t want to serve him. I don’t want to be a Death Eater. I hate him. I hate him so much. But I can’t leave. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill my mother.”

“I know,” Snape said, reaching out and clasping Draco’s shoulder. “But you can do it. You can leave. Give yourself over to the Order of the Phoenix. They will protect you, especially after I have spoken to Dumbledore. I will protect your mother, then bring her to you. She does not want to follow the Dark Lord any more than you do.”

“What if I can’t do it?” Draco asked, looking up at Snape, fear blatant in his eyes.

“Don’t make the same mistake I did, Draco,” Snape said, looking at the young man intently. “Don’t let fear rule you. Or else someday you will watch her walk on the arm of another, and you will have to live with the knowledge that you let the greatest thing in your life slip away because you were a coward.” Draco nodded and took a deep breath.

“I’ll do it,” he said firmly, looking at his mentor with determined eyes. “I will be free of him. I will prove to her that I’m worthy of her love.”

“Good,” Snape said, feeling like a load had just been lifted from his chest. He looked at Draco, terrified yet determined, for a moment before roughly pulling him into a quick embrace. Then he stepped back and smiled slightly.

“You know, the hardest part won’t be escaping Voldemort,” he said, the smile turning into a grin. “The hardest part will be getting her to trust you. Those redheaded Gryffindor girls are feisty.”

“I know,” Draco replied, grinning in return. “But that’s what makes them worth it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a redhead to find.”

“Good luck,” Snape said, chuckling. “You’re going to need it.”


End file.
